A culinary sitch
by Reader101w
Summary: Kim is still having trouble in the kitchen... any kitchen. Oneshot


Just a little story about Kim's trouble in kitchens... everywhere.

**Disclaimer:** Kim Possible and related are the property of Disney which, contrary to common belief, I do not own.

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**A culinary sitch**

It was once again time for the biannual culinary convention in the tri-city area; the tri-city convention centre was filled with cooks, kitchen salesmen, technicians, rare recipes, state of the art cooking gear – the material of which wouldn't do a bad job as space ship hull plating – and advanced computerized kitchen machines.

And of course there was a huge crowd eagerly smelling the great tastes coming from everywhere, tasting the delicious free samples and looking in awe at the newest ways of making cooking easy.

Amongst those visitors walked an odd couple; they dressed very different from the rest of the crowd and their skin complexion, respectively blue and green, also stood out. But most of the visitors didn't really look or care; what was a couple of weirdos in a crowd anyway?

"So why are we here?" Shego inquired, sighing in disgust at Drakken's face stuffing.

Drakken gleefully walked past the stands and took a free sample from almost every table, "We're here… _mjum_… Shego… _chomp_… to steal the kitchenator 3000… ooh, you got to try these cheese samples."

"No thanks," Shego deadpanned, "and what exactly do we need with a kitchen machine?"

"Shego! This isn't an ordinary kitchen machine," Drakken pointed to the middle of the centre, "this THE most advanced automated kitchen appliance in the world."

Shego looked and she had to admit she was impressed; the middle area of the convention centre was reserved for a large object that vaguely reminded of an entire kitchen, but everything was moving by itself. Currently the machine was working on creating a delicious looking cake.

The owner of the kitchenator 3000 spotted the villains and, oblivious to their plan, gestured them closer.

"Fine piece of machinery, isn't it?" the salesman proudly said, "it knows over fifty thousand recipes, can cook every meal you want and works on full voice command."

"Welcome to the kitchen," a friendly voice spoke as a series of green lights lit with the voice, "can I interest you in a slice of 'Seven layers of heaven'?"

"And it's polite too," the salesman continued, "Did you know that 'Seven layers of heaven' was invented by Ron Stoppable, the same person who created the Naco?"

"Who?" Drakken frowned.

"Doy," Shego sighed, "Kimmies sidekick, the buffoon. Speaking of which, let's get on with your plan before she gets here."

"Oh, yeah," Drakken turned to the owner of the kitchenator 3000, "we'll take it."

"Well, it's currently not for sale," the salesman said, "this is just a prototype, but when we get in production I can give you a discount."

"No, we'll take it," Drakken grinned, "Shego!"

"On it," Shego lit her hands but before she could do anything a frantic cry caught her attention.

"STOP!" Ron Stoppable, inventor of the Naco and 'Seven layers of heaven', and sidekick and recently boyfriend to teen hero Kim Possible, ran towards the group.

"Oh, it's just the buffoon," Shego smirked, "where's Kimmie?"

"On her way…" Ron gasped, "…in the vents…I came as fast as I could…you have to get out of here."

"Why?" Drakken asked, "What happened to the usual banter?"

"And why is Kimmie going through the ventilation shafts while you come in through the door?" Shego added, "Got some relation issues?"

"No, KP is not allowed here," Ron had finally caught his breath and started to push the villains towards the exit, "Run, maybe I can get her to turn back if you've left."

Shego pushed Ron away and looked down on him, "Care to explain any of this?"

Ron sighed frustrated, "Look, KP is not allowed near any advanced and active kitchen gear, she is banned from the convention centre during the culinary convention, but now she is dead set on catching you."

Shego lit one hand again and held it dangerously close to Ron's face, "Longer explanation please."

Ron looked nervously at the green fire right before his eyes, "Alright, kitchen gear tends to get… rogue around KP. One time she was trying to use a mixer and it ran wild, taking her with it. The mixer dragged her along for half a hallway, even after it was unplugged."

"That's just crazy," Drakken laughed, though a little bit of doubt was settling in the back of his mind.

"It's true," Ron stated, "although the mixer issues can be dealt with, more advanced kitchen machinery is still a risk around Kim."

"Riiight," Shego smirked, "well, then let us take the dangerous equipment away from her and no one gets hurt," the green skinned villainess turned around and walked back to the kitchenator 3000, "come on Dr. D, let's take this thing."

Suddenly, strange sounds and panicked screams made her turn around again; one of the sections of the convention, ironically the mixer section, began to turn into chaos. People were trying to run away while all kinds of mixers whirred, jumped, grabbed hold of tablecloths or started shooting their contents all over the place.

Ron was looking at the ceiling and Drakken and Shego followed his gaze; right above the mixer section was the air duct system.

"RUN!" Ron again tried to push the villains away, but it was already too late; one of the grates opened and a redheaded girl jumped out.

"Ron, there you are," Kim said, "let's find Drakken and Shego before… what are you doing?"

Ron stopped pushing the villains and chuckled nervously, "You know, trying to get Drakken and Shego out."

"Riight," Kim frowned, "and why did you scream 'Run!' from the top of your longs?"

"Oh, hehe," Ron shrunk before Kim's glare, "uhm…"

"He was trying to get us to flee," Shego grinned as she saw Ron shocked expression, "he thinks you're a danger in the kitchen."

"Shego!" Ron whined.

Kim shot her boyfriend an annoyed look, but then smirked at Shego, "So you were about to run off?"

"So not," Shego growled and attacked Kim.

Meanwhile, Drakken had been trying to move the kitchenator but it was way too heavy, Ron walked up to him.

"Dude, they used a crane to get this thing in here, do you really think you can walk out with it?"

"I can most certainly try," Drakken huffed, angry with himself for forgetting such a detail.

Ron had turned his attention back to the fight, "Whatever happens, don't let KP touch the kitchenator."

"Or what?" Drakken muttered, Ron pointed to the pandemonium the mixers were creating, "Oh, right."

Shego however, had not heard Ron's comment and after she had swept Kim's legs from under her, she kicked the girl towards the automated kitchen.

"NO!" Ron cried, but it was too late; Kim crashed into the machine and even though she got up in a second, Ron knew the damage was already done.

Suddenly, all the green lights on the kitchenator 3000 turned red and the machine started to make strange grumbling noises.

"I didn't know the lights could turn red as well," Drakken said as he backed away from the machine.

"They can't," the owner told, a frightened look on his face.

Upon hearing the noises, Shego and Kim stopped fighting and they both looked in shock as the large machine became fully active.

"Destroy," a menacing voice growled, "burn, fry, chop, slice, dice and grate."

To the great shock of everyone in the convention centre the more than three ton weighing apparatus began to move and tried to get up; segments moved and multiple arms extended until the kitchenator 3000 stood like a strange post-apocalyptic beast.

"This is new," Shego mumbled.

"And dangerous," Ron said, "This thing can do anything. KP, maybe if you leave it will turn normal."

Kim reluctantly walked to the exit, trying to avoid activating more machinery.

Meanwhile, Drakken stepped up to kitchenator, "I've never realised this potential power… I am Dr. Drakken, you will follow my command!"

The machine used one arm to swap Drakken away, smacking him into a couple of tables. Then it turned around and located Kim, it immediately started to charge towards her.

"KP!" Ron yelled, the redhead turned around just in time to dodge an arm with a sharp knife on its end. Kim ran past the kitchenator, back to Ron, and again it began to follow her.

Fortunately, the machine was rather slow in turning and everyone close could get out of the way in time.

"Can you switch it off?" Kim asked the owner who was cowering under a table.

"Yes, with voice command," he told, "but I'm afraid it won't listen."

"Kim Possible flambé," the machine suddenly growled and it tried to spray Kim with cognac.

"Hey, you can't do that," Kim said as she dodged, "I'm not even twenty one yet."

"This is pretty entertaining," Shego grinned as she watched Kim's attempts to get away from the alcohol spray.

Her grin quickly faded when a gripping arm grabbed her and dragged her to the kitchenator, "Stirred and blended Shego on the rocks."

"Did I mention the kitchenator 3000 can multitask?" the owner weakly called from under the table.

"GHAAH, let me go," Shego cried as she was lowered to a set of fast swirling knifes.

Kim jumped on top of the refrigerator and used her laser lipstick to cut the arm that held Shego and pulled the villainess away from the knifes. This move however allowed the nozzle to douse her with alcohol.

"Thanks," Shego said as she cut away the remains of the arm. Kim, in the meantime, was running for her life from a small gas burner the kitchenator was chasing her with.

Ron glanced at Drakken, who had joined the owner of the kitchnator in hiding, and sighed; time to step up.

The blond carefully walked up to the kitchenator 3000 and tried to pet it, "Easy big fella, relax."

To everybody's surprise, including his own, the machine seemed to actually calm down; it stopped chasing Kim and left Shego alone as well.

"That's right," Ron spoke softly, "why don't we think of making a nice dish? How about lemon squares…"

Kim, Shego and Drakken, and pretty much everybody else who were still in the convention centre watched amazed as the kitchenator 3000 settled down, its light turning green and its movements becoming less threatening.

As Ron talked the kitchen robot through the process of creating lemon squares, Drakken and Shego snuck off; having had enough taste of kitchen machinery for one day.

Finally, the oven dinged and a delicious smell filled the immediate area; the kitchenator 3000 was all nice and cooperating again.

"How do you know my nana's recipe anyway?" Kim frowned after she had carefully walked up to the machine and accepted a piece of the delicious cake.

"She gave it to me last summer," Ron smiled, "she told me the recipe should continue to exist in the hands of capable cooks, your mom also got a copy."

"Hmpf," Kim huffed, but then she too broke into a smile, "I guess you're right; last time I almost burned her kitchen, and from what I heard dad didn't do much better either. Great job on stopping the kitchenator," she gave Ron a peck on his cheek.

"It's all about not fearing it," Ron grinned.

"It tried to flambé me," Kim smirked, "what do you expect? And what should I tell mom and dad when they smell the alcohol?"

"Tell them you had a wild party?" Ron snickered and then quickly ran off.

Kim was about to chase him when a security guard stopped her, "Miss Possible?"

"Yes?"

"Are you aware that you are in violation of a restraining order issued to you for the duration of the culinary convention?"

"Yes, but Drakken was here, and Shego, and… where are they?" Kim started looking around.

"Right, can you show me your ID?"

"What?" Kim asked surprised, "Why?"

"I am under the impression that you are still a minor," the guard said, "but you smell like alcohol, and lots of it."

"But that's because it was thrown all over me…" Kim muttered, "the kitchenator tried to flambé me."

The guard frowned and looked at the kitchenator 3000, which was standing nicely in its usual spot, "Suure, could you come with me please?"

"But it attacked and it… never mind," Kim sighed and let the guard move her out of the building. Ron winced when he saw her annoyed look, he turned back to the kitchenator; this called for an extra special, heavy on the chocolate, treat to cheer Kim up again.

"_Maybe I can make bonbons shaped like the guard," _Ron pondered, "_I bet KP would love to bite the heads of those after today…"_

END


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